Posts

I will kill 3 popular lies they told you about copywriting. If you believe any of them, that is why you are not making money yet.

-
Lie 1: You need to be good at English to be a good copywriter. Truth: Good copywriters write simple on purpose. The best copy in Nigeria is not, In accordance with our commitment to excellence. It is, This shoe will not pain your leg in the market again. Harvard writers are broke. Market women are rich. Market women know copywriting. Your customer is not an English teacher. He is a tired man scrolling at 11pm with 20 percent battery. He does not want grammar. He wants relief. Big grammar kills sales. Simple gist makes sales. Lie 2: Long copy does not sell in this TikTok generation. Truth: People do not hate reading long copy. People hate reading boring copy. Ask yourself. Why can someone read 400 WhatsApp messages about a cheating boyfriend, but cannot read your 150 word sales page? Because gist is interesting. Your copy is boring. A woman will read a 2000 word thread about Regina Daniels marriage at 2am. She will not read your 3 lines about your skincare product. The problem is not le...
Read more

The Cake Post That Got Zero Likes And Taught Me How To Write

-
Image
I posted a photo of a beautiful cake last year. Three tiers. Perfect icing. I stayed up till 2am to finish it. I wrote, "We are proud to announce our latest creation. We are the best bakery in town. Contact us for your cakes." Zero messages. Two likes. One was from my sister. The next week, a woman who sells the same cakes as me posted a cake that was not as fine as mine. But she wrote this: "Your child’s birthday is next Saturday and you have not ordered cake yet? I can make it for you. Here are 30 mothers in Port Harcourt who trusted me last month. Send me a message to lock your date." She got 14 orders. I called her and asked what she did. She told me, "I stopped writing for everybody. I stopped writing about myself." That was the day I learnt how to write words that make people act. Most of us write like this: "I will post about my cakes." That is not a plan. That is a wish. Before you write any post, any email, any advert, ask th...
Read more

I SENT 100 JOB APPLICATIONS. NOTHING. ONE COLD EMAIL GAVE ME THE JOB.

-
Image
Last year I was looking for a remote job. I applied on job sites every day. I wrote many cover letters. No reply. My inbox was full of, we will get back to you. One day I stopped applying and tried something different. I sent one email to a manager I never met. He replied in 2 hours. We had a call next day. I got the job that week. That email was a cold email. If you are looking for a job, especially remote work, you need to know this. What is cold emailing? It is writing to someone who does not know you, but who has the power to hire you. Not through job portal. Direct to their inbox. You are not begging. You are showing how you can solve their problem. Many people think, if there is no job post, there is no job. That is not true. 70% of jobs are filled through people, not portals. Managers hire people they trust before they post. Let me show you three people. Person A applies on LinkedIn. 300 people applied for same role. Her CV goes into a system. No one reads ...
Read more

YOU HAVE MONEY. YOU HAVE ALL THE DOCUMENTS. BUT YOUR GREEN PASSPORT WILL STILL EMBARRASS YOU AT THE EMBASSY.

-
Image
You saved for two years. You booked the date. You paid the visa fee. You printed every paper they asked for and stood in the queue since morning. Then one email came. One line. Refused. The fee is gone. The date has passed. And no one tells you what you did wrong. If this has happened to you, you are not alone. Let me show you what it looks like across Nigeria right now. In Onitsha, a trader named Blessing wants to buy goods from China. Her supplier says, come and see the factory yourself. She applies for visa with her business papers and bank statement. She waits 8 weeks. Refused. The supplier gives the deal to a buyer from Kenya. Blessing loses N3 million order. In Port Harcourt, a young graduate gets admission for Masters in UK. He has paid deposit of $2,000. His school says resume by September 15. He applies for visa on July 1. He waits. August passes. September 10, no answer. September 16, school writes, we have given your slot to someone else. His $2,000 is gone. In K...
Read more

MY GIRLFRIEND ASKED ME HOW TO SELL HER USELESS NIGERIAN BOYFRIEND - I TOLD HER CALL MANCHESTER UNITED

-
Image
Yesterday, Como beat Manchester United 4-1. Not Real Madrid. Not Barcelona. Como. Como that was in Serie B two years ago. Como that is coached by Cesc Fabregas who retired not long ago. Nico Paz scored two goals. Douvikas scored one. Even their centre back Jacobo Ramon headed one. 4-1 in Champions League. United have not won in 7 games. Worst start in 40 years. Captain Bruno Fernandes is now fighting manager Michael Carrick live on TV. And my friend in Port Harcourt said, "This is the best time to sell my useless Nigerian boyfriend to Manchester United." She is right. If Como can score 4 against United, your boyfriend can score too. Here is how to copy this email strategy and sell him this January. *Subject line of your email to Old Trafford:* "RE: Available Nigerian Talent - Low Cost, High Bench Experience, Ready To Lose 4-1 To Como" They will open it. Because this is exactly what they are looking for right now. *Inside the email, use this copy:* Dear M...
Read more

ALHAJI, YOUR REFINERY WILL MAKE MONEY FOR 100 YEARS. WHAT WILL CARRY YOUR NAME FOR 100 YEARS?

-
Dear Alhaji Dangote, In 1977, a man in Kano built a house with mud. It collapsed in 10 years. In 1996, his son built with Dangote Cement. That house is still standing today. One built a shelter. One built a legacy. That is the difference between a toy and a legacy asset. And that is why I am writing you this letter. Let me show you two owners. Roman bought Chelsea as a toy. He had fun. He won trophies. But when politics changed, he lost it in 72 hours. He had to sell with tears. A toy has no root. Sheikh Mansour bought Manchester City as a legacy asset. He built an academy, a stadium, a group of 13 clubs. Today his family owns an institution that will outlive him by 200 years. Both men are billionaires. Only one built something history will remember. Right now, you have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to buy the biggest legacy asset in sports. Manchester United. This is not football. This is business. Here is why it fits only you: 1. IT IS A 147-YEAR-OLD ASSET THAT REFUSES TO DIE. It survi...
Read more

I Spent $500 On Twitter Ads For My Crypto Project. Everyone Clicked. Nobody Minted.

-
We had 1,200 clicks from Twitter. The website looked good. But the wallet did not connect. That day I learned clicks are not users. Let me explain what addressable.io does and why many Web3 teams now use it. Let me start with 3 stories. Story 1: A DeFi founder I know ran ads on X. He targeted crypto interests. He got clicks. He spent $2,000. But when he checked his dashboard, he could not answer one simple question. Which click brought the wallet that staked $5,000? He did not know. So he kept spending blindly. Story 2: A GameFi team did an airdrop. 10,000 wallets joined. They were happy. But after two weeks, 8,000 disappeared. They were airdrop hunters. Not real players. The team had no way to know who was real and who was just farming rewards. Story 3: My friend launched an NFT collection. He wanted to target people who hold good NFTs, not just anyone who likes NFT on Twitter. But Twitter ads only let him target interests and age. He could not target wallet behavior. So his ad reach...
Read more